We can not rely on our own understandings.....

The last couple weeks have been a roller coaster ride, with no option of stopping the ride and getting off. Each day has challenged me emotionally, physically and most importantly spiritually. For the most part I can handle the emotional and the physical portion, because I have somehow perfected the art of masking of my feelings and my pain. But when my faith and the foundation in which God has built is challenged, I become a complete mess.
I am a firm believer that God has His hand in all aspects of our lives, even when we feel like we have been abandoned and all hope is lost... He is there, just waiting patiently to help us pick up the pieces. It's how we decide to interpret His instructions and discern His voice that sometimes leaves us feeling the way I have been.
I have been praying faithfully for things to change but it was not until I joined a daily devotional group that I was reminded that I am not supposed to try to figure it all out alone. I am not to worry and carry all of these burdens alone! God has blessed me with other Christians to share my worries, my pains, my concerns and most importantly my love for Him.

"Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts." COLOSSIANS 3:16

Being reminded that I am not alone, struggling with THIS LIFE, has renewed my "spiritual lull" and given me the courage to stand tall and face the days to come. We all need a reminder sometimes.. the reminder that whatever life throws your way- you are NOT ALONE, so do not try to carry life's burdens alone. Seek out other Christians to share your worries and pains, your joys and accomplishments and remember to always delight in the Lord!!

In the past 2 weeks, my husband has left to go back out of town until mid-April, "A" has not had a single green light at school, I reached my maximum stress level at work (some of which I have brought upon myself), had an appointment with the neurosurgeon that did not go the way I hoped, have had to have blood taken three separate times (why they could not have gotten all they wanted the first time is beyond me.. I think they find pleasure in poking me), visited with my neurologist who informed me of a few things I would have rather not heard, thought I was going die from lack of air ( a lovely side effect to one of my medications), come to the realization that all 13 year old girls are complete drama queens and have even contemplated dressing up as one for a brief second and going to "K" school to remind them that they are only 13 and YES he rules of life to apply to them! and think I had a full fledged nervous breakdown that involved a glass bowl falling out of the cupboard breaking on my head and then slipping and falling in "A"s puddle of bath water she tracked into the hall, as I went to get the broom to clean up the mess (I think you get the picture...), all while perfecting the art of masking my pain.
So can you see why I have been on that roller coaster I described at the beginning of this post? I promise I would have loved to get off and stop the ride long before the nervous breakdown.... but I just could not find the emergency stop button.
I will have to post on my doctor's visits later because for now I am going to enjoy the beautiful day that the Lord has made with my girls! I will leave you with one of my favorite verses:
“‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’ Luke 10:27