Todays visit and the not so good verdict...............

As most of you already know, things have not been easy since my last surgery.
Each day I feel worse and worse. I have completely neglected my family, friends, my church and abandoned all hopes of having a clean house!! (if you know me personally - this is bad)

I have been across the bay so many times in the past 4 weeks  to see my Dr that I am contemplating getting an apartment over there.

Last Tuesday I went in for a follow up appt and after taking one look at me, he immediately sent me to have a CT of the abdomen and a X-Ray like test.

I knew something was wrong. My head hurts to just turn it from side to side and you can forget about bending over to pick something up. Not to mention that it appears I am ready to give birth a record setting size child or possibly small safari animal. (The fact that 2 weeks ago while in CVS a lady congratulated me while reaching out to touch my belly - does not help!!!)

Late Friday my Dr called me to tell me he would like me to come in first thing this morning to discuss the results of the test. Upon arriving at his office today, and waiting 2 hours to be seen (I know this is off track - but 2 hours???!!!) he told my husband and I that the shunt has come out of the peritoneal cavity and is now coiled up in my abdomen causing the CSF to back up.  There are two "hypottenuating cysts" over 9 cm x 7.2cm in size. One in my pelvic area and the other "anterior to right rectus abdominis muscles". In English - I have two massive fluid filled cyst in my stomach and fluid is backing up around my brain and in my spine. This my friends is what we call a shunt malfunction. One of the very reasons I did not want to have this put in to begin with.

 My solution - TAKE IT OUT!!!!!

Well apparently this is not a very good solution and DR. M was not going for it. He told me that if I take it out I will go completely blind in just a short period of time. I would never be able to live with myself knowing that I could never see my sweet children's faces again.

So......... shunt revision #2 here we come. He will have to re-open the incision on my back and make a new one on the opposite side of my stomach. They will then try to tunnel the shunt through "virgin" tissue and pray that it stays in place and my body will begin to absorb the excess fluid.
Of course, I am not to thrilled with the idea of another surgery and I am very concerned about the possibility that this will not work, again.

As I looked at him teary eyed and expressed my concerns, reservations and I knew he was more than just some surgeon sitting listening. He, also teary eyed, cares. He really cares about my well being and wants to make sure that I continue to live life to the fullest. He is doing what God called him to do.

While I may not feel at peace with what the days ahead have in store for me, I am at peace knowing I am right where God wants me to be and for now that's good enough.