Todays visit and the not so good verdict...............

As most of you already know, things have not been easy since my last surgery.
Each day I feel worse and worse. I have completely neglected my family, friends, my church and abandoned all hopes of having a clean house!! (if you know me personally - this is bad)

I have been across the bay so many times in the past 4 weeks  to see my Dr that I am contemplating getting an apartment over there.

Last Tuesday I went in for a follow up appt and after taking one look at me, he immediately sent me to have a CT of the abdomen and a X-Ray like test.

I knew something was wrong. My head hurts to just turn it from side to side and you can forget about bending over to pick something up. Not to mention that it appears I am ready to give birth a record setting size child or possibly small safari animal. (The fact that 2 weeks ago while in CVS a lady congratulated me while reaching out to touch my belly - does not help!!!)

Late Friday my Dr called me to tell me he would like me to come in first thing this morning to discuss the results of the test. Upon arriving at his office today, and waiting 2 hours to be seen (I know this is off track - but 2 hours???!!!) he told my husband and I that the shunt has come out of the peritoneal cavity and is now coiled up in my abdomen causing the CSF to back up.  There are two "hypottenuating cysts" over 9 cm x 7.2cm in size. One in my pelvic area and the other "anterior to right rectus abdominis muscles". In English - I have two massive fluid filled cyst in my stomach and fluid is backing up around my brain and in my spine. This my friends is what we call a shunt malfunction. One of the very reasons I did not want to have this put in to begin with.

 My solution - TAKE IT OUT!!!!!

Well apparently this is not a very good solution and DR. M was not going for it. He told me that if I take it out I will go completely blind in just a short period of time. I would never be able to live with myself knowing that I could never see my sweet children's faces again.

So......... shunt revision #2 here we come. He will have to re-open the incision on my back and make a new one on the opposite side of my stomach. They will then try to tunnel the shunt through "virgin" tissue and pray that it stays in place and my body will begin to absorb the excess fluid.
Of course, I am not to thrilled with the idea of another surgery and I am very concerned about the possibility that this will not work, again.

As I looked at him teary eyed and expressed my concerns, reservations and I knew he was more than just some surgeon sitting listening. He, also teary eyed, cares. He really cares about my well being and wants to make sure that I continue to live life to the fullest. He is doing what God called him to do.

While I may not feel at peace with what the days ahead have in store for me, I am at peace knowing I am right where God wants me to be and for now that's good enough.

The Surgery

First things first........THANK YOU to each and everyone of you who said a prayer for me the morning of my surgery. I will never be able to put into words the overwhelming sense of peace I had that morning knowing that I had so many of my friends, family and even strangers all praying for a successful surgery!!

I arrived at the hospital, a little nervous, at 6:00 a.m. as instructed with my husband and my sweet "K" in tow. Immediately upon my arrival I came face to face with a 19 year old boy who was also set to have surgery. This young man had been driving over 90 mph and drinking when he wrapped his car around a tree. He had rods and pins sticking out of his left leg and was getting ready for his 3rd surgery. As we waited in registration I could not help but think about what him and his family must be going through. As I prayed for God's hand to be with him and his doctors that morning and the days to come, I realized how blessed I am.

They called me back to begin the prep pretty quickly and it was not long before JB came for a group prayer and I was saying my goodbyes to my sweet family. I was even blessed by a visit from 2 strangers, who were nurses and had seen the prayer request on FB, prior to being whisked away.  The last thing I remember is the very kind anesthesiologist saying he was going to give me something to help me relax and they would be putting me to sleep soon. 
When I awoke in recovery, I was in alot of pain. As I opened my eyes, my first thought was what had they done to my stomach because it felt like they had taken a skill saw to my abdomen. It wasn't long though and the recovery nurse was giving me something for pain and I dosed back off. The recovery room, however, is not a place to rest. It is filled with nurses running about and patients being wheeled in and out from various surgeries. I must say though, I commend all of you who work in this profession because some of what I saw and heard was not easy to swallow and the nurses there handled each and everyone of the patients with grace.
It was several hours before I was moved upstairs to a room but the recovery nurses allowed me to see all of my family, who had been waiting ever so patiently for the outcome.
According to Dr. M, everything went "perfectly and better than expected"!! (I think alot of it had to do with all of your prayers) The surgery itself took less time than expected, he was able to get the shunt in with no problems and was confident that I should have a far less expected recovery time than initially thought. PRAISE GOD!!
He did tell me later that he had to physically move a few muscles around in my abdomen and thread the catheter from my stomach to back with a metal rod, so some bruising and tenderness would be expected. But all in all everything looked good. He wanted me to get up and move around, as tolerated, as this would speed up the recovery process. What? No lying flat for 10 days?? This WAS good news :)
The first few days following the surgery I was in a severe amount of pain. But the good news is that it is incision related and not severe pain from my head. Yippee - maybe the shunt is working.!!
I have been having low pressure headaches but they are more uncomfortable than painful and nothing in comparison to what they were like prior to last week. My legs and hips hurt really bad upon standing, but I am told this is from the swelling of the nerves around my spine and should go away in a few days. My stomach is still real swollen (I do not foresee putting pants on anytime soon) and I am very tired. But I am not vomiting upon standing, no ringing in my ears and my head feels better than it has in years!!
I have yet to be able to stay upright for longer than a few hours and I am still spending more time in the bed than out, but I think alot of this is what you would expect with ANY surgery.
 I am hoping that another week of resting and taking it easy and I will be able to begin to resume somewhat of  "normal" activity.
So for now, I am praising God that everything went better than initially expected and I am looking forward to whatever  tomorrow might hold!!

Many Blessing,
Jessica

Count your BLESSINGS.........

Ever been so tired of being so tired? So completely exhausted at the end of the day that your not quite sure how you will make it through?

Well that's exactly  how I have felt lately. Acting as a single parent, being so swamped at work and continuously feeling worse each day has only added to my exhaustion. I have quickly learned that not even caffeine injected directly into my veins seems to help!
Since my last post I have had several more tests, including a MRI of brain and cervical spine. While this is one of the easiest test to take, it is the one that I hate the most, partially because it is the one that delivers the worst results. While the results are often the same, it the direction that my neurologist takes that varies depending upon how large the monster in my head has become. This go around - the news was what I expected....... a change in size.

After all I have had to endure over the last several years, I have learned to become fully aware of my own body, my limitations and most importantly when something just isn't right. Well my body has been telling me something was not right for a few months. I have been VERY tired and in ALOT of pain. My head and neck have hurt so bad recently that every morning when I embrace the porcelain goddess, I contemplate throwing in the towel, crawling back into bed and staying there until brain transplants become legal. But I know where that mentality will get me......in the bed, hooked to machines and a personal attendant who wakes me every 4 hours to take my vitals. While I can't deny I like the thought of a personal attendant (under different circumstances), I do not welcome all that comes with it.

Since I have been having this weird inner convulsing thing going on, nothing like those of which you see on America's Best Dance Crew, my Doc ordered a EEG a few weeks ago. The results of it were a fresh orangy smell, very messy hair and a epilepsy disorder caused by the increased pressure. I have know for several years that I have a seizure disorder that results from the AC. But most of what I experienced in the past was full fledged fish out of the water seizures. (Well except the one time I had 15 in a 5 minute time frame. Want to freak out you doctors - flop like a water deprived fish, check into the hospital for 6 days and talk like mush mouth...works every time!!) However, recently all of the convulsing has been felt on the inside with very little outward activity. I probably would not even have realized it if it were not for Corey saying I was zoning out and twitching one night when we were sitting together on the couch. I know what your thinking but I was not intentionally zoning out....not this time anyway. After that I became more in tune to what I was feeling. Now,   I wish I would have just continued to zone out, so much easier when you don't acknowledge there's a problem.

DENIAL...DENIAL...DENIAL...

More recently - today I had to have a visual field and the pressure checked in my eyes. Poor Man's MRI, or so the Opthamologist says. It showed that since my last check up, over 45% more of the peripheral vision in my right eye has been lost and reiterated exactly what my doctors have told me. Again, not a real shocker since I have been experiencing some visual disturbances. When I say disturbances I am referring to the little man who keeps flickering the light on and off in my right eye and then he leaves and forgets to flip the switch back to the "on' position prior to his departure. It's kind of like when your taking a shower and your kids think its funny to turn the light off and run out of the room laughing. Takes a little while for your eyes to adjust but when they do..... you rinse the burning soap out, search for a dry towel to dry off and race to catch those little boogers. At this point I am still trying to get the burning soap out.

And it's the little boogers that keep me going. That MAKE me get up each day, FORCE me to face what it holds and REMIND me to thank my Creator for blessing me with them. Because without them, well I am not sure I want to go there.

"Thank God from whom ALL BLESSINGS FLOW!!"

"Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken" Psalm 55:22

Many Blessings,
Jessica Smith

Dr. Quack

So today was a rough day.
It all started with a morning of endless wardrobe changes before finally settling on something I started with. Then I awoke my 4 year old with my sweet rendition of You are My Sunshine, as I usually do, only to have her cry hysterically because she wanted to me to sing Little Bunny Foo Foo instead, followed by uncontrollable whining because her leg was asleep. If you are a momma, you can understand where I am coming from here! Patience is a virtue and ohhh was mine being tested.
My day at work was filled with dismantling displays and packing samples into a box truck to get ready for a home builder show I am working this weekend. While there was plenty of help from some of my male co-workers, I just could not get it together today.
This was just one of those days were I have a severe case of nausea that I just can not shake. As my day progressed, so did my nausea. In addition, my head hurt so bad that I took enough medication that it should have put a quarter horse down. However, I saw no relief.
But what I really want to share with you is the phone call I received. It was in reference to "Dr. Quack."
For those of you that do not know, that is my previous neurologist. See back in August I filed a formal complaint against him with the state Board of Medical Examiners. My complaint went something like this:
Dear ABME,
Dr. Quack has treated me for the last 3 years. Over this time frame he has poked, scanned, shocked, drugged and re-poked me. He has given me medication that has caused my condition to worsen, cyst to grow and pressure to increase rapidly. All of this resulted in an exotic 7 day 6 night stay in my local hospital, where he came to visit me without authorization and a turkey thermometer in hand. Upon his arrival smelling intoxicated, he sneaked past nurses station, came into my suite and re-poked me. When he attempted to remove the turkey thermometer he yanked it out of my spine, screamed at nurse who busted him and threw the needle on floor. Then left room to never be seen again. His negligence caused a series of events including, seizures, raised blood pressure, swelling of entire body (internally and externally), liver to swell, loss of feeling in legs and feet and a few other unmentionable side effects, as well as a transfer to a larger hospital via my own personal ambulance.
Therefore, I think Dr. Quack should be questioned in regards to his methods of treatment.
Thank you for you time,
Upset patient with brain dysfunction

So.... this well written complaint warented my own case worker and board of investigators. While I have spoken with them quite a few times, prior to today, they were calling me today to let me know they interviewed him yesterday with my letter and records in hand. Great news!! What happened??
Well, I don't know because they will not tell me what he said and I will not be privileged to any paperwork submitted by him as a rebuttal. What???????? Then why did they call??
"Courtesy call mam, to let you know we are on top of your complaint."
Ok... thanks, I guess. Glad your on top of it.
The case worker did tell me that when the investigation is complete, in 6 months or so, the will send me a written response. I asked them how many times was this doctor allowed to continue to do this ( he already has several other complaints filled against him, as well as he has been fined and license previously suspended) and I was told there are no set guidelines in my state and each complaint is evaluated on a case by case basis.
Is that crazy or what?? No set guidelines?? Does this mean that that anyone can get a Internet doctorate diploma in my state to practice medicine? Furthermore, in the area dealing with the brain and central nervous system are there not supposed to be stricter guidelines? Guess not!!!
So for tonight my prayer will be that those who are still under the care of Dr Quack come to their senses and seek out other options.
In case you are wondering, I have a awesome new neurologist who has even practiced on a pig spine before giving me a specific type of nerve block to the brain, to ensure he was doing the procedure correctly.  He is extreamly intelligent and is familiar with my rare condition.

Praise God for the blessing in disguise!!