From The Beginning

Ok.. so I jumped on the bandwagon. I have decided to start my own blog. I have given this lots of  prayerful consideration and finally feel like now's the time. Why now you ask? Well I am not really sure. Maybe its the endless phone calls I have received or just God pushing me. Either way here I am :)
In order to understand the present I will have to take you back a few years, a short walk down memory lane... well what I can remember anyway!
It all started in September of 2001. I was at work one nice September afternoon when I awoke to the realization that I was in the back of an ambulance because I had undergone several seizures in a few minutes time. I was rushed to the local hospital where they told me I was suffering from heat exhaustion (in mid September???) and my potassium was low.
Over the next several months I suffered from intense crippling headaches, lots of seizures, loss of Peripheral vision, confusion, anxiety and the list goes on. I saw several doctors and the inside of every local ER within a 100 mile radius. Still no answers.
Finally after a visit to my family doctor he sent me to a neurologist who diagnosed me with a large Rathky's Cleft Cyst that was compressing my optic chasim and was causing my pituitary gland to displaced.
Within a few weeks I had an appointment with a local neurosurgeon and a date was set to remove the cyst -
Feb. 2, 2002. I was told I would have to learn to walk, talk and read all over again. Not something a 24 year old mother of a 3year old wants to hear. But my faith was strong and I put my trust
in God.
In the recovery room I was walking, talking and even joking with the doctors and nurses and my 3 week stay turned into only 3 days. I was determined that I was not going to let the "norm" dictate who I was or who I would become.
Fast Forward to 2007: I am happily married to the love of my life and we have two beautiful daughters. "K" who is nine and "A" who is 6 months old.  My symptoms begin to re-occur and everyday tasks were becoming more and more difficult. After routine visit to my neurologist he sent me to have a MRI.
Before I could even get off the exam table the radiologist came out to let me confirm what I already knew. "Mam, you have a massive Arachnoid Cyst that is the size of a grapefruit".
"Hmmmm.... I thought it was a Rathky's Cleft", I replied.
"No Mam", he said - "its definitely an Arachnoid and its the largest I have ever seen. Well actually I never seen one, except in text books. You are going to need someone to operate immediately and unfortunately, I do not think you will find the help you need locally".
"Ok, thank you".
I mean I think its only right to thank the poor panicky radiologist who just told me I have the largest cyst he's ever seen! Don't you?
So.. after alot of research and prayers I found the one and only Dr. at the time who would even consider operating because of the size and location. Dr. S in California. Over 500 miles away.
So what a girl to do with a deformed head and a cyst the size of a grapefruit? Well board a plane of course (with my wonderful husband in tow), say lots of prayers and get ready to face the unknown for a second time.
This time would be different. Rather than shave my head and prepare for a full craniotomy, the Dr would access the cyst thru my right nostril using a laser. Nasal Endoscopic surgery. Newest cutting edge technology! Wow, I was impressed. Although I could not help but thinking about the Egyptians I had learned about in middle school who's brains were removed this way. Surely he would not accidentally grab my brain - right?
10 hours later, brain intact, I was looking into my poor, weeping husbands gorgeous blue eyes.  Everything was going to be fine. They were able to remove most of the cyst and plug my head with a piece of fatty tissue from my stomach. (Yes, my husband still calls me fat head). After 24 hours I was released from the hospital and able to go back to my hotel room until our follow up appt in a few days. I know what your thinking you only had to spend 24 hours in hospital after brain surgery??? Well, that's really my fault. In hindsight I probably should have stayed a couple more days but hey we were in California. This southern Alabama girl did not want spend a moment more stuck in a  hospital when I could have been shopping on Rodeo Drive or miss my chances of being selected for the Price is Right! That's one lesson I definitely learned the hard way.


So now your up to speed on the past.... Lets address the present!
Short Summary: Cyst is back and bigger than ever. Turns out plugging sinus cavity with fat is not such a good idea, as this can cause a slow CSF leak. Two brain surgeries cause scar tissue that can lead to intercranial hypertension (lamines terms: makes your head feel as if it going to self combust at any moment notice). Headaches have become worse and are now classified in a pain category all of their own, I grow more and more confused each day, My memory is slowly fading (now under certain circumstances this has worked to my benefit), my neck and upper back are always stiff and hurting, vision is slowly deteriorating and I become irritated very easily.
But the good news in all of this is that I REFUSE to let my illness control my life and dictate what type of person I am going to be. I have decided to face each new day with a smile on my face, love in my heart and let the Holy Spirit guide me on this journey. After all I am a mother to two of the most amazing children and if I were to let them see that is OK to give up, what kind of role model would I be??
I am not saying that each new day does not bring its own challenges, because it does. What I am saying is that it is up to us on how we deal with them.
I am hoping by starting this blog I might be able to help others see how God turns our misery into our ministry.
I hope you will join me as I (try) to post daily what is is like living with this illness and the blessings that I continue to receive because of it.