Over the last week

So now that you are all up to speed on what living with this "condition" is like, I am going fill you in on the adventures this past week has brought!!
Last Wednesday I was scheduled to have an isotope cisterniogram along with a CSF (cerebral spinal fluid) pressure check. For those of you that are not familiar with these tests and what they entail, I will fill you in.
Isotope is a radioactive material that is inserted into your spine via a needle, while you lay on a cold flat metal table with a Styrofoam triangle under your stomach. (This is done so they can accurately access between the correct vertebra's) After they inject the material, delivered via an astronaut dressed radiologist who looks as if her rocket ship is to deploy at any given moment,  you are made to wait for 30-40 minutes, flipped upside down and sent to the basement where scans of your spine and brain are taken. They also insert tampon looking gauze into both nostrils so that they can later pull them out and test them for the nuclear meds.
The CSF pressure test is done with what I call a turkey thermometer. Its a big needle with a pressure gauge on the end. Ideally it is supposed to test the severity of the pressure upon inserting it into the spinal canal.
Well we all know that my test never go according to plan and are always less than ideal.
So I show up to the test and  I am escorted to the radiology department. I am already very nervous at the anticipation of being stuck in the spine with a long, flexible needle. Not my idea of fun times!!
So here I am laying on flat table, half naked, heart pounding and surrounded by at least 15 strangers. (Oh yes- I forgot to mention that my neurosurgeon is part of one of the largest teaching hospital's in our area, so you always have an audience of eager young college grads who are fulfilling their internships and residents who just can't wait to participate hands on, with a real LIVE patient.) First comes the "cold small pricks" to numb the area, like that does any good, then a pause and the needle is handed to the chief resident. Again - heart pounding out of chest by now! "Please God let him get it right the first time, Please God let it be quick, Please God.......... Ouch.....
"Your in the wrong area" I hear the radiologist say from behind the window, "But I am exactly where the textbook says to be", "I don't give a damn about the text book your in the wrong area, you need to come up a little". OK now ready for second stick..."Are you a moron, you are in her cartilage, hurry and get the needle out or it is going to be stuck there" - What????? Stuck there??? Are you kidding me?? Please God.... "Hey this isn't rocket science- take the needle out, come down and little and push till you hear a pop."
What a pop? What kind of Pop? "Please hurry my legs are really hurting" I ask as nice and as politely as any human being could possibly be in this situation. Stick three - surely he'll get it right this time. Right?
Wrong!! Three additional sticks, 45 minutes later and my neurosurgeon demanding he hand over the needle the isotope is finally inserted. Whew were done, so I thought. I was wrong again, pressure check still was not done. I'm OK, I don't need my pressure checked, I can continue living like this. If my head explodes, I'll be fine I promise! Please just don't poke me again.
No amount of begging or pleading was going to change their minds, so I decided to just keep all of the inner begging to myself.
So in goes the turkey thermometer! Ooouuuuccccchhhhh! Man that hurt.
"Dr. M I am not getting a return on  CS fluid, all I am getting is blood" - What - did he just say blood? No, I must be delirious from all of the pain, surely he did not say blood. This can't be good.
"Are you all the way in?".... "Yes sir, there is only a feedback of blood"..... "Ok, pull out we will have to try to retest later."
The room suddenly grows silent, very silent. Are they gone?, I thought.
"Mrs. Smith... since we were not able to get a accurate pressure reading we are going to have to try again at another time,  for now I want you to lie real still while we rotate you 96 degrees, please be very still."
Is this man crazy???? Still? 96 degrees - who rotates someone 96 degrees?? Apparently they do and still I was to be.
After my moderately exhilarating fair ride stimulation, I was then wheeled off to the basement, but not before a short parade in front of my very terrified looking audience. "Don't look so freaked out guys, this is just the beginning of the rest of your lives."
They did not find my comment no where near as humorous as I did. I guess my timing was a little off.
Scan one proved there was some sort of contamination and I was forced to strip down to my birthday suit in a room that felt as if beef carcasses were previously stored there.
Scan two (4 hours later) proved that the isotope was moving along according to schedule. I was released to go home and report back the next morning bright and early.
When having a lumbar puncture one must lie flat for several days to allow the blood to clot around injection site (or sites in my case) and help in preventing whats know as a spinal headache. (CSF fluid is no longer cushioning the brain and it causes your brain to sag inside your skull - or so I have been told)
So my sweet dear husband drives ever so carefully the hour ride home, taking extreme caution to avoid the speed bumps placed along every block for the first 15 miles. My mother decides she will get my precious babies and take them to her house for dinner and baths.
The first night was really rough. Waking up covered in vomit, I have to admit is not very attractive. So my patient, very understanding husband helps clean me up, change our sheets and gets me settled back into to bed only to realize we have to do it all over again. Well if you are like me, you realize at this point I am running out of extra sets of queen size sheets.
Finally, I drift off to sleep for about an hour or so.
The next few days turned out to be just as rough as the first.  I think the washer ran nonstop.
Two additional trip back to the hospital for scans and one to the ER for the intense pain.
I just keep telling myself that "this too shall pass and with God by my side I WILL make it through this." I was reminded of one of my favorite scriptures:  
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
Matthew 6:25-32
I mean if God vowed to take care of the birds, surely He would take care of me too!! His everlasting love has not failed me thus far.
By Sunday, I was still in pretty bad shape but my husband was set to leave to go out of town for work for 3 weeks. Given the economy and the fact that the bills do not pay themselves, we decided it was best for him to go ahead and leave as scheduled. My mom and dad would come and get me, the girls and our undisciplined puppy and we would stay with them for a few days.
So needless to say the last few days have been quite comical as I have watched my 4 year old try to manipulate my parents into giving into to her every whim and my parents try not to cave. My mom has been fantastic at trying to keep things (dinner time, baths, nite nite stories) as routine as possible for the little one and my dad has been the "enforcer" I have not been able to be. Although, we all know he really a big softy at heart!!
Until yesterday, I could not stand for more than a minute or two at a time. Today is much better, as I have been able to sit upright for a good portion of the day without feeling as if the top of my head is separating from the bottom.
So all in all, a week later,  I think I am finally on the mend.
The follow up visit to my neurosurgeon proved that I will need to undergo another LP in March. He is kind enough to wait until my body has had time to heal from the first. Thanks Dr. M!
Until then, I will just face today and what today brings. Enjoy my family and friends and not worry about tomorrow or what it may bring. For I can not control the future or change my circumstances BUT I can choose how I will deal with them.
For me it's with a smile on my face, the love of Jesus Christ in my heart and not taking a single moment, regardless of the size, for granted!!!!