Truth or Speculation???

   

Eastern Shore disease cluster?

The Eastern Shore – which includes the burgeoning Baldwin County communities of Spanish Fort, Daphne, Montrose, Fairhope, Marlow, Fish River, Barnwell and Point Clear - in recent years has experienced high rates of rare cancers, including brain and neurological cancers, leukemias and lymphomas, as well as Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis, also known as Lou Gehrig’s disease.

Scientists will study Fairhope area this summer because of an apparently high number of rare cancers and neurological ailments. A team of scientists from Nebraska and Arizona plan to visit this summer to investigate what appears to be an unusually high number of rare cancers and neurological diseases showing up in Eastern Shore residents.

Shambaugh-Miller said scientists are coming to believe that the onset of some neurological diseases, as well as the relatively rare cancers seen on the Eastern Shore, may be triggered by a combination of genetic and environmental factors. Particularly unique, he said, is the relatively high number of MS cases seen in southwest Alabama.

"That's about 800 miles south of the MS line," Shambaugh-Miller said, explaining that MS typically occurs much farther north, in colder climates. "Any MS south of that line is extremely rare. It is very rare in subtropical areas. ... When I look at Fairhope and see a lot of MS, that triggered my involvement. You shouldn't have that number of MS cases in that area."

Since the research scientists announced their intention to come to the area, the state has followed up on an investigation started several years ago. The state effort involves interviewing the families of those afflicted.

State officials did not return calls seeking comment.

Rare conditions

The researchers are basing their initial concerns on a dozen years' worth of disease data collected by Lesley Pacey and Anna Calhoun, two Eastern Shore mothers whose families were touched by rare conditions. Calhoun has since moved with her family to Nebraska.

Pacey's daughter was afflicted with leukemia at age 4, while the child's great-grandmother suffers from ALS. Pacey said she began trying to keep track of the illnesses when two other children in her daughter's play group also developed rare, life-threatening conditions, including leukemia and neuroblastoma. Like many of those afflicted, both Pacey's daughter and her great-grandmother have lived on the Eastern Shore their entire lives.


According to federal statistics, Baldwin County as a whole has a cancer rate slightly below the national average. Federal records are available only on a county-by-county basis, so it is not possible to compare disease rates among towns.

"Why is it just this little strip along this particular coast? Why doesn't it extend further inland?" wondered Shambaugh-Miller, who noted that the incidence of cancers seems to ease off both to the north of Fairhope and to the east.

Mark Witten and a group of researchers from the University of Arizona will be analyzing trees in Fairhope as part of the cancer study. So far, an initial investigation found elevated levels of chromium, zinc, and mercury in the leaves of some trees in the town, Witten said. A more thorough study will analyze core samples from living trees.

"The beauty of our tree coring is we can actually go back in time and try to develop an environmental history of an afflicted area," Witten said.

Witten then uses pollution data from the trees to set up exposure experiments for mice in his laboratory. He has used the technique in Nevada, Connecticut, Kansas, California and New York, particularly in places believed to have abnormally high leukemia rates. In most of those cases, abnormally high levels of tungsten have been discovered in the tree core samples, Witten said.

Fairhope, in decades past, has been home to various industries and a lot of farming. The region's abundant rain and permeable aquifers raise questions about the groundwater most people in Baldwin County drink, said the scientists. They were also curious about Mobile County's long run as one of the most polluting counties in the nation. Mobile no longer ranks among the top 10 most-polluting counties nationally, as many industries have shut down since the mid-1990s.

"I just think you shouldn't have three kids with cancer in your child's play group," Pacey said, about her daughter's playmates. "Then in her first-grade class there was another kid with cancer. Then I go to Jazzercise and there are two moms with kids who have cancer. We have people in the family with ALS, and people at church with ALS. It just doesn't seem right."

We do not know from where our environmental issues stem. But we do know that our neighboring Mobile County in 2000 ranked eighth in the nation for total toxic releases into the air, especially neurotoxins and developmental toxicants that cause birth defects and cancers, according to EPA’s Toxic Release Inventory (TRI). Also, Mobile County in 2001 was ranked the worst county in the nation in the release of air pollutants linked to birth defects, according to TRI.


The Eastern Shore is listed as the 8th largest disease cluster in the United States. With all of the strange neurological diseases, rare cancers, blood diseses and so forth in our area it just makes me wonder is there any truth  to be found in all of this? I know for me personally I do not remember, growing up, knowing or being aware of this many people who have been or are currently effected by so many rare diseases. I could list at least 10 people off the top of my head, myself included, who is dealing with a "unexplainable" condition that has no rhyme or reason to it.
So I ask is this truth or just speculation???
Most of the information above was taken from www.EasternCommunityHealthPartners.com

Changes to come........

Well things have been insanely crazy around here so I have not had a chance to post in a few days. Honestly, I do not know how all of you raising children, working full time and running a household have time to also blog daily. I'm lucky if I can remember to take something out for dinner each day much less write a blog insert!!
But anyway.......
So last week was really busy for me. I worked 12 straight days without a day off. I was just returning from being out after having the cisteriogram then had to work home builder show all weekend and then finished my 12 day stretch with a very busy week at work. See I was trying to tie up all my loose ends, make sure all clients and builders were happy and content because today I leave for MEXICO for 6 days!!!! I am so excited just to get away and relax with my family (my parents, sister, brother in law and niece), kids and most importantly my husband, since he has been gone for 3 weeks. Man.. have I missed him!!:)
But what I really want to share with you is my visit to my neurologist last week.
I really like Dr. S, he is great!! A little weird and his one front tooth moves up and down, in and out of his mouth making it hard to focus on what he is saying, but he is great!!! So this is my first visit to him since the whole needle jabbing ordeal a few weeks ago. He starts by asking how things went and I give him and quick, but necessary run down. Then he begins his neurological exam. I explain to him that my right arm has been acting a little funny. Not the kind of funny that it's standing up telling jokes funny, but the kind of funny that when i try to pick something up my hand suddenly goes numb and I tend to drop whatever it was I was holding (usually on my foot - which my foot DOES not think is funny!!). I also can not fully extend my arm because when I do I get a awful shooting pain into the right side of my head and through my neck.
So his diagnosis: "Severe nerve damage in brain has caused it to radiate down into my right side limbs", this means that eventually I will loose complete feeling in my right arms and eventually my right leg. He also noticed that I have some "droopage" in the right side of my face. Furthermore supporting his nerve damage theory. So what to do for now: limit the use of my right arm. Personally I do not see how this is possible as I am right handed, drive a stick shift with my right arm and virtually everything else I do is done with this particular limb. What can I say it's a habit. Well that or a God given trait!
He also decided to go ahead and put me back on 250 mg of diamox 2x daily along with potassium supplements so that my hands, feet and face to not completely go numb due to this medication sucking all of the potassium out of my already damaged body. Well if you know anything about diamox, it acts as a lasic which means I spend more time going potty than anyone thought was humanly possible. I have been on this medication before so I already knew what to expect, which is nice.
Whats not so nice is this is most likely only a temporary fix. My team of physicians (yes team - when you are me you have the privilege of getting an entire team assigned to you!! whoop whoop!!) are giving one final attempt at the medication route before they opt for a Ventricular shunt (the fluid will be drained from the brain into the peritoneal cavity or belly or into a chamber in the heart from the brain). Since, as many of you might of guessed, I am not thrilled about the idea of them inserting a large draining tube throughout my body, so for now I will take the medication and pray to God that this time it will work alot better so I do not have to endure the 8 hour surgery.
But honestly, all joking aside... I fully put my trust in the Lord and know that what is His will , will be done!! I may eventually not have the use of my right arm, my face may look a little distorted and hey I may even get a large drainage tube with access sight that looks like Frankenstein, but I will never loose my faith. I know there is a reason that God has chosen me to endure this. I have complete and utmost faith that He has put me in the situation for a reason. He has a plan!! and I am OK with that, I am OK with knowing that what I go through each and every day has a reason and a purpose and when the time is right He will reveal to me what that is.
God is so good even on our worst days. He never gives up on us, never abandons us and never leaves us to figure things out all alone. He has been and will continue to walk beside me and guide me on this journey, as long as I put my trust in Him.

" The Lord gives His people strength. The Lord blesses them with peace" Psalm 29:11

Dr. Quack

So today was a rough day.
It all started with a morning of endless wardrobe changes before finally settling on something I started with. Then I awoke my 4 year old with my sweet rendition of You are My Sunshine, as I usually do, only to have her cry hysterically because she wanted to me to sing Little Bunny Foo Foo instead, followed by uncontrollable whining because her leg was asleep. If you are a momma, you can understand where I am coming from here! Patience is a virtue and ohhh was mine being tested.
My day at work was filled with dismantling displays and packing samples into a box truck to get ready for a home builder show I am working this weekend. While there was plenty of help from some of my male co-workers, I just could not get it together today.
This was just one of those days were I have a severe case of nausea that I just can not shake. As my day progressed, so did my nausea. In addition, my head hurt so bad that I took enough medication that it should have put a quarter horse down. However, I saw no relief.
But what I really want to share with you is the phone call I received. It was in reference to "Dr. Quack."
For those of you that do not know, that is my previous neurologist. See back in August I filed a formal complaint against him with the state Board of Medical Examiners. My complaint went something like this:
Dear ABME,
Dr. Quack has treated me for the last 3 years. Over this time frame he has poked, scanned, shocked, drugged and re-poked me. He has given me medication that has caused my condition to worsen, cyst to grow and pressure to increase rapidly. All of this resulted in an exotic 7 day 6 night stay in my local hospital, where he came to visit me without authorization and a turkey thermometer in hand. Upon his arrival smelling intoxicated, he sneaked past nurses station, came into my suite and re-poked me. When he attempted to remove the turkey thermometer he yanked it out of my spine, screamed at nurse who busted him and threw the needle on floor. Then left room to never be seen again. His negligence caused a series of events including, seizures, raised blood pressure, swelling of entire body (internally and externally), liver to swell, loss of feeling in legs and feet and a few other unmentionable side effects, as well as a transfer to a larger hospital via my own personal ambulance.
Therefore, I think Dr. Quack should be questioned in regards to his methods of treatment.
Thank you for you time,
Upset patient with brain dysfunction

So.... this well written complaint warented my own case worker and board of investigators. While I have spoken with them quite a few times, prior to today, they were calling me today to let me know they interviewed him yesterday with my letter and records in hand. Great news!! What happened??
Well, I don't know because they will not tell me what he said and I will not be privileged to any paperwork submitted by him as a rebuttal. What???????? Then why did they call??
"Courtesy call mam, to let you know we are on top of your complaint."
Ok... thanks, I guess. Glad your on top of it.
The case worker did tell me that when the investigation is complete, in 6 months or so, the will send me a written response. I asked them how many times was this doctor allowed to continue to do this ( he already has several other complaints filled against him, as well as he has been fined and license previously suspended) and I was told there are no set guidelines in my state and each complaint is evaluated on a case by case basis.
Is that crazy or what?? No set guidelines?? Does this mean that that anyone can get a Internet doctorate diploma in my state to practice medicine? Furthermore, in the area dealing with the brain and central nervous system are there not supposed to be stricter guidelines? Guess not!!!
So for tonight my prayer will be that those who are still under the care of Dr Quack come to their senses and seek out other options.
In case you are wondering, I have a awesome new neurologist who has even practiced on a pig spine before giving me a specific type of nerve block to the brain, to ensure he was doing the procedure correctly.  He is extreamly intelligent and is familiar with my rare condition.

Praise God for the blessing in disguise!!

What a Day!!!

So today was my first day back at work in almost (2) weeks, well since the whole needle jabbing incident, and let me tell you it was quite the day. I awake to the normal scene from The Exorcism, rush to shower, get dressed, pack lunches, iron clothes, get children dressed, throw dinner in crock pot, drop girls at school and race to be at work 20 min away - all by 7:30.
Whew.... I made it and only 3 minutes late!
I arrive to a desk full of sticky notes, folders with notes, phone calls to return and lots of e-mails to sort through. Not to mention, this weekend I am setting up for and working a home builder show and I still had so much to do to get ready.
It's OK, deep breaths, I can do this.  I try to ignore my agonizing pounding head and focus on work. My greatest and best distraction from real "life". Each day I try to arrive and leave all of my "baggage" at the front door and pick it back up on my way out, but it does not always work out that way.
By lunch time, I was already thinking this had to be the longest day EVER! I had already returned several calls, filtered through my long list of e-mails, sent out a few quotes, lined up help for this weekend, reserved a truck, placed a few orders, researched and found some very expensive mosaics for a decorator friend of mine and was threatened by a customer. (Well technically she told me she was "holy" and if we did not install her carpet tomorrow she would come down here and spank me - in a "holy" manner. Is that possible???)
As you can probably imagine by now my bruised and aching back was killing me and my head was not just pounding, there was little man stuck somewhere in there running a jackhammer at full throttle and he was not letting up.
That's when the real fun began!
I got a call from the preschool of my little one. "A" woke up from nap burning up with a fever and she needed picked up. Are you kidding me? God- Really?
Don't get me wrong, it pains me more than anything to see my children sick. They are so pitiful and I feel so helpless. But today? It not even the end of January and I have almost already used up a full years worth of sick and vacation time. My boss is going to kill me!!! (Actually my boss is a terrific man who is very supportive and compassionate to my circumstances.)
The good news is, someone else may be getting the spanking tomorrow because chances are I won't be there.
So off I go, rushing out the door to get my sick baby. Man was I right, she looks pitiful. I wrap her in my arms, kiss her sweet little head and put her in the car. This is where she informs me that she can not touch ANYTHING, so I will need to get her what ever she may need or want, because she will get everyone else sick. I am guessing this is her interpretation of something one of her teachers may have told her. Either way, I was ready and willing to get that pathetic looking sweet face whatever she needed.
Since her pediatrician could not see her today I decided to take her to the local walk-in clinic. But first, since I was not sure how long it might take, I needed to run home and grab "K" who was about to be getting out of school.
So by 4:30, we are now sitting at the pharmacy waiting for prescriptions, grabbing some Motrin (since I can not remember how much we have at home) and stocking up on pedialite.
By 7:30 baths and supper are done, the little one has her medicine and is tucked tightly in bed, for the moment.
It's funny how regardless of how I feel or what's going on with me, if one of my girls needs me everything else becomes irrelevant as I go into Gestapo mode to make sure they are taken care of, often neglecting my own needs.
As I sit here typing, replaying today over I realize that ultimately today, as with any day, was God's will. He is in control and maybe this was His way of showing me, I am not superwomen. I can not do it all and I definitely need to full heartily put my trust in Him. Not just when it's convenient for me but all of the time.
So lesson for today: I will let God continue to be my Pilot and I will put my trust in Him knowing that He will not leave me searching for the auto-pilot switch!

Repost: Prayer Request

I have decided that I am going to share a prayer request post I put on Facebook about a year ago. I posted this after speaking with the terrified mother of a 13 year old boy who was about to undergo a very lengthy brain surgery. I know some of you have already read this once, but I wanted to re-post it as a reminder of the need for continual prayers for this family. I coincidentally found out later that he made it through the surgery and as of a few months ago was doing great. However, he's future is unknown as the type of cyst / tumor we have has a tendency to return at a moments notice and complications can last a lifetime.
Thank you to all of you who lifted "Austin" and his family up in prayer!!

I have not been able to sleep the last few nights, because their is something that is weighing very heavily on my heart.
As most of you already know, I have had to have two brain surgery's in the last seven years. As a result of this, I am listed as a resource, for those who have the same type of tumor I had, with the National Brain Tumor Society and the Neurosurgeon's office, who preformed my last surgery, in 2007.
I received a call from a mother in distress on Thursday night. Her 13 year old son, Austin, has a Arachnoid Tumor, 6cm in size, located on his brain stem. The size and location of the tumor is causing paralysis of the right size of his face, twitching, deafness in his right ear, severe headaches, mood swings, blurred vision, speech complications and much more. He has had to deal with these side effects for almost a year, as there is not a Neurosurgeon who will preform such a tedious, time consuming and life threatening surgery until he is 14 years old. He turns 14 on Monday, August 3rd, and will have the 14-16 hour surgery on Tuesday, August 4th. They will have to remain away from their home for almost 13 weeks, due to post-op testing and follow up visits.
As I spoke with this mother, in length, Thursday evening, I could not help but feel her pain. As a mother myself, knowing the pain, fear and anxiety I felt as I faced my own surgery, I could not imagine having to watch one of my children go thru the same thing.
I gave her the basic run down of what to expect, as I do all those who call me looking for advice, asking questions or just in need of a listening ear.
However, she was different than all of the others, she was the MOTHER OF A CHILD who was facing the unknown. She had no idea of the physical pain he is feeling, she is just hurting for her baby.
She told me I was the third "resource" she had spoken with this week and by far my recovery time and outlook on life was definitely the most encouraging. I responded with the fact that I did not "get here" all alone, I had the support and prayers of a lot of people along the way, but most importantly I have my FAITH. Yes, some days are more difficult and painful to face than others, but if you do it with a smile on your face and God by your side, it makes those "days" more bearable.
I advised her to always asses Austin's feelings and get his input on the so called "advice" she would receive from the doctors, in the years to come. While this type of tumor/cyst is listed on the National Organization of Rare Disorder list (NORD), do not let that dictate how he will continue to live his life. Too many times I have been told to quit my job and collect disability, by these "doctors" because I am " in fact eligible". While I may be "eligible" and so may Austin, in years to come, this is not the way I want to live my life and I am sure it's not the expectations of this child's future either.
I told her to follow the doctor's post-op orders to a T (unfortunately I learned this one the hard way), don't rush the healing process (again learned the hard way), what she could expect after surgery and other bits of advice that I had to offer from my own experience. But the two most important things I could tell her were:
1) He is going to need you now more than he has ever needed anyone in his whole life. Austin will need to lean on you for support and will rely on you for all of the things he will not be able to do himself. Then I apologized , in advance, for all of the ugly things he may say to her. I tell you this, because I can not tell you how many times I had (have) to apologize to my husband for being "ugly", when he was just trying to help. "I know you are helping me wash, blow dry and straighten my hair - but you are doing it all wrong!" Boy was I ugly!
2) I reminded her of God's undying love for her and her son. That no matter how alone she felt right now, HE is right there with her with HIS loving arms are wrapped so tightly around them both. I also assured her that what is happening to them is not anyone's fault and as much as we always want someone to blame when things start to get bad, there isn't anyone.

I ended the conversation by telling her that I would be in prayer for them and to please keep me posted on the outcome of his procedure. When we hung up the phone all I could do is cry and think of the emotions this lady (who I never got her name thru all of the tears) and her son must be going through. My heart just ached for them.
So, as I layed in bed the last couple of nights thinking of a way that I might be able to help them. I had to reflect on what was the most helpful to me and my family, what did we benefit the most from? Yes, while  the cards, phone calls, e-mails, visits, meals, etc ..were all extremely heartfelt and encouraging, it was the PRAYERS that pulled me through.

Therefore, I am sending this to you and asking - please weather you know me or never met me, like me or despise me - please take a moment to say a prayer for Austin, his family and the doctors and nurses that will be caring for him.

Prayer is such a powerful tool and when we all unite in our prayers to the Lord, this is where miracle's are born.

Thank you and God Bless,
Jessica Smith
"Continue to strengthen me, Lord and use my life each day, to share your love with others and help them find their way."

Victim of Circumstances?

Today has been quite an uneventful day. I have not done alot except snuggle with my sweet "A" watch cartoons and try to mentally and physically prepare for the weekend and the week to come. Somehow this is my coping mechanism and the OCD part of me tends to do better if I "prepare" myself for what's coming.
I awoke, as usual, this morning bright and early only to spend 30+ minutes in the bathroom throwing up. This is the first morning I have awoke this way in several days. However, it is usually the norm for me. I have even learned to get up a little earlier the mornings that I have to be at work or church in order to get it over, so I can proceed with my "normal" morning routines.
I have learned that with increased intercranial pressure and a cyst on my pituitary the transition from lying flat to sitting up causes an adverse effect with the rest of my body. If you were a fly on the wall you would find most mornings at my house are quite comical. The alarm goes off, I roll over off my back to my knees on the floor and crawl the rest of the way to the bathroom. If I make it before getting sick I consider it a great start. However, if the alternative happens, well you can guess how the rest of the day proceeds and I am sure my husband and I will never quite grow used to the smell. Every outlet in my house has a plug in. I believe that the Smith family probably single handily funds over 90% of Febreeze's profits!
At one point my soon to be 13 year old swore I was pregnant and trying to hide it from my husband! After much debate and pinky promising I think she now is finally convinced I am NOT with child. It's not that I do not LOVE children, I do. I just never, ever want to put myself or my unborn child through the misery of a pregnancy full of unknowns. Will I have a seizure during delivery? Will the child be born with a cyst on their brain? Will the umpteen thousand prescriptions I have to take every day effect my unborn child?
While I would never trade my two precious girls for anything in the world, you can understand why being pregnant would not be beneficial to anyone.
Sorry getting off track here....
So after cleaning up, scrubbing my teeth (yes - scrubbing) and changing shirts, finally I got to enjoy my favorite part of the morning. A hot cup of coffee in peace and quite! Ahhhh... I love the serenity of sitting with a hot cup of coffee, 5:00 news playing in the background and my daily devotional in hand. Something about the peacefulness of sitting with God's word and giving Him many thanks and praise for all of the blessings He has given my family.
My devotional this morning talked about anger and God's forgiveness. (Ephesians 4: 31-32) It's easy to be angry. It's easy to play the blame game. After all when life is throwing all types of trials and tribulations our way we often blame God for what we are going through. We point the finger and become angry for "Him letting this happen". But is it really His fault? Is it really anyones fault? God does not wish his children to suffer. He loves us. When we laugh He laughs and when we weep He weeps right along beside us.
It's funny because my dad and I were just talking about this very thing the other day. He said "I don't understand why He just does not take your pain away, you know he can. Why did He choose you to endure all of this?" My only response to my dad was this - "God is obviously using me and my illness to help others. One day everything I have been through will have a meaning and it will make sense. If only one persons life is changed or if one mother's nerves are set as ease because she was given my number  - then to me every bit of pain is worth it." He replied "I know but I hate seeing you like this and I hate that I can not do anything to fix it. I would rather suffer than to see you." (For those of you that do not know I am listed as a resource for the National Brain Tumor Society and through my last Neurosurgeons office so that anyone who is facing the same or similar issues as myself can call me. We may talk about what to expect, the procedures, the surgery, how it has effected my life, etc... But most of all I find myself just listening and always offering a prayer, most of the time that's all they need is someone who's been through the same thing to listen. It has also been a awesome tool for me to remind them of God's undying love for them.) I had to then tell my dad that "God knows that there is NO WAY a man could go through what I go through, I mean I love you and all but we know that most all men are big babies when their sick and you are no different." His simple reply - "Your right!"
Trust me I am no saint! I hurt all the time and I get angry and upset just like everyone else. I have both good and bad days. I get upset with others and  curse words have even been heard leaving this mouth. (Just ask the cheif resident at the hospital last week, I am sure he could give you an earfull of the nice inappropriate language I was using) But all I can do is try. I know I am a sinner. I know I am not perfect and often I feel as if I am not worthy of the sacrifices has God made for me. But guess what - we all are! We are all human and from time to time us humans make mistakes. Its recognizing the mistakes and growing because of them.
So for today, I will take this throbbing head of mine and recognize that even though I live in a world that is surrounded by anger and hate I will choose not to become a victim of circumstances. Instead I will remember God's unending forgiveness for me and I will try to treat others with the kindness and compassion that God continues to show to me each and every day!!

Over the last week

So now that you are all up to speed on what living with this "condition" is like, I am going fill you in on the adventures this past week has brought!!
Last Wednesday I was scheduled to have an isotope cisterniogram along with a CSF (cerebral spinal fluid) pressure check. For those of you that are not familiar with these tests and what they entail, I will fill you in.
Isotope is a radioactive material that is inserted into your spine via a needle, while you lay on a cold flat metal table with a Styrofoam triangle under your stomach. (This is done so they can accurately access between the correct vertebra's) After they inject the material, delivered via an astronaut dressed radiologist who looks as if her rocket ship is to deploy at any given moment,  you are made to wait for 30-40 minutes, flipped upside down and sent to the basement where scans of your spine and brain are taken. They also insert tampon looking gauze into both nostrils so that they can later pull them out and test them for the nuclear meds.
The CSF pressure test is done with what I call a turkey thermometer. Its a big needle with a pressure gauge on the end. Ideally it is supposed to test the severity of the pressure upon inserting it into the spinal canal.
Well we all know that my test never go according to plan and are always less than ideal.
So I show up to the test and  I am escorted to the radiology department. I am already very nervous at the anticipation of being stuck in the spine with a long, flexible needle. Not my idea of fun times!!
So here I am laying on flat table, half naked, heart pounding and surrounded by at least 15 strangers. (Oh yes- I forgot to mention that my neurosurgeon is part of one of the largest teaching hospital's in our area, so you always have an audience of eager young college grads who are fulfilling their internships and residents who just can't wait to participate hands on, with a real LIVE patient.) First comes the "cold small pricks" to numb the area, like that does any good, then a pause and the needle is handed to the chief resident. Again - heart pounding out of chest by now! "Please God let him get it right the first time, Please God let it be quick, Please God.......... Ouch.....
"Your in the wrong area" I hear the radiologist say from behind the window, "But I am exactly where the textbook says to be", "I don't give a damn about the text book your in the wrong area, you need to come up a little". OK now ready for second stick..."Are you a moron, you are in her cartilage, hurry and get the needle out or it is going to be stuck there" - What????? Stuck there??? Are you kidding me?? Please God.... "Hey this isn't rocket science- take the needle out, come down and little and push till you hear a pop."
What a pop? What kind of Pop? "Please hurry my legs are really hurting" I ask as nice and as politely as any human being could possibly be in this situation. Stick three - surely he'll get it right this time. Right?
Wrong!! Three additional sticks, 45 minutes later and my neurosurgeon demanding he hand over the needle the isotope is finally inserted. Whew were done, so I thought. I was wrong again, pressure check still was not done. I'm OK, I don't need my pressure checked, I can continue living like this. If my head explodes, I'll be fine I promise! Please just don't poke me again.
No amount of begging or pleading was going to change their minds, so I decided to just keep all of the inner begging to myself.
So in goes the turkey thermometer! Ooouuuuccccchhhhh! Man that hurt.
"Dr. M I am not getting a return on  CS fluid, all I am getting is blood" - What - did he just say blood? No, I must be delirious from all of the pain, surely he did not say blood. This can't be good.
"Are you all the way in?".... "Yes sir, there is only a feedback of blood"..... "Ok, pull out we will have to try to retest later."
The room suddenly grows silent, very silent. Are they gone?, I thought.
"Mrs. Smith... since we were not able to get a accurate pressure reading we are going to have to try again at another time,  for now I want you to lie real still while we rotate you 96 degrees, please be very still."
Is this man crazy???? Still? 96 degrees - who rotates someone 96 degrees?? Apparently they do and still I was to be.
After my moderately exhilarating fair ride stimulation, I was then wheeled off to the basement, but not before a short parade in front of my very terrified looking audience. "Don't look so freaked out guys, this is just the beginning of the rest of your lives."
They did not find my comment no where near as humorous as I did. I guess my timing was a little off.
Scan one proved there was some sort of contamination and I was forced to strip down to my birthday suit in a room that felt as if beef carcasses were previously stored there.
Scan two (4 hours later) proved that the isotope was moving along according to schedule. I was released to go home and report back the next morning bright and early.
When having a lumbar puncture one must lie flat for several days to allow the blood to clot around injection site (or sites in my case) and help in preventing whats know as a spinal headache. (CSF fluid is no longer cushioning the brain and it causes your brain to sag inside your skull - or so I have been told)
So my sweet dear husband drives ever so carefully the hour ride home, taking extreme caution to avoid the speed bumps placed along every block for the first 15 miles. My mother decides she will get my precious babies and take them to her house for dinner and baths.
The first night was really rough. Waking up covered in vomit, I have to admit is not very attractive. So my patient, very understanding husband helps clean me up, change our sheets and gets me settled back into to bed only to realize we have to do it all over again. Well if you are like me, you realize at this point I am running out of extra sets of queen size sheets.
Finally, I drift off to sleep for about an hour or so.
The next few days turned out to be just as rough as the first.  I think the washer ran nonstop.
Two additional trip back to the hospital for scans and one to the ER for the intense pain.
I just keep telling myself that "this too shall pass and with God by my side I WILL make it through this." I was reminded of one of my favorite scriptures:  
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
Matthew 6:25-32
I mean if God vowed to take care of the birds, surely He would take care of me too!! His everlasting love has not failed me thus far.
By Sunday, I was still in pretty bad shape but my husband was set to leave to go out of town for work for 3 weeks. Given the economy and the fact that the bills do not pay themselves, we decided it was best for him to go ahead and leave as scheduled. My mom and dad would come and get me, the girls and our undisciplined puppy and we would stay with them for a few days.
So needless to say the last few days have been quite comical as I have watched my 4 year old try to manipulate my parents into giving into to her every whim and my parents try not to cave. My mom has been fantastic at trying to keep things (dinner time, baths, nite nite stories) as routine as possible for the little one and my dad has been the "enforcer" I have not been able to be. Although, we all know he really a big softy at heart!!
Until yesterday, I could not stand for more than a minute or two at a time. Today is much better, as I have been able to sit upright for a good portion of the day without feeling as if the top of my head is separating from the bottom.
So all in all, a week later,  I think I am finally on the mend.
The follow up visit to my neurosurgeon proved that I will need to undergo another LP in March. He is kind enough to wait until my body has had time to heal from the first. Thanks Dr. M!
Until then, I will just face today and what today brings. Enjoy my family and friends and not worry about tomorrow or what it may bring. For I can not control the future or change my circumstances BUT I can choose how I will deal with them.
For me it's with a smile on my face, the love of Jesus Christ in my heart and not taking a single moment, regardless of the size, for granted!!!!